Monday, January 18, 2010

"I don't know where I'm a gonna go when the volcano blow"

I can't even begin to imagine the sad state of affairs going on in Hati right now. Combine a city that borders on the dysfunctional under the best of conditions, New Orleans (whoops I mean Port-au-Prince) and a disaster like Katrina (whoops I mean an R7 earthquake) and things can get bad, really bad; hell-fire and pillars of salt bad; definitely enought to ruin your whole day.

But what to do to permanently fix the place?

Once we bail their asses out of yet another disaster and get things cleaned up, I say they will need a steady stream of cash. So the only alternative is to relocate the UN Headquarters from NYC to Port-au-Prince. This would solve everything. Beautiful mountains and tropical breezes would beat a shitty NYC winter any day. The entire country probably could be run with just the proceeds from UN-related parking tickets alone.

But then there is that little issue of the Enriquillo-Plantain Garden fault system. But no-problem-mon, if the IPCC can cure anthropogenic "climate change", surely they can handle a little tectonic plate engineering.